I wish I were at the beach...

Alright so here's the thing. I'm supposed to write in my journal about my art process. Well, whenever it comes time to write in my journal I'm just s tired that I don't WANT to! Which is bad... So, here I am typing and sharing some of my ideas for Senior Show.
So my show started out as having a somewhat vague subject (something and the heavens and earth and how they're all connected etc) that I was having a hard time thinking of depicting. The other dilemma I was faced with is how big to make my prints (to then be turned into books).
Then one day in printmaking class one of the girls saw one of my experiment prints and said that it reminded her of Mythology. Then I went to see Lightning Thief and got a sudden epiphany while trying to sleep at 3am in the morning. Polynesian Mythology!!!!
So here I am FINALLY with a subject that I find really interesting, and I'm excited to do it! I can use the same style I've BEEN doing and expound upon it. So I picked six of the gods/goddesses from Polynesian mythology and I will make prints out of their stories. Not exact depictions, but kind of abstract. Of course I am in a state of "flux" as Crawford states, and this idea could change or evolve further. But here's some pictures to get the creative juices flowing.
The picture on the top is of Maui. He's well known for his hook, and legend says that he pulled the North Island out of the water like a fish. Hence you see a lot of Hooks in Maori culture. And how could I NOT do something from New Zealand?
Then there is Tangaroa, god of the sea. He's very important to all Polynesian cultures (hmmm, I wonder why?)
Tawhiri is god of storms etc. Of course all of these gods are related in some way.
Tane is god of the forest. Tangaroa, Tawhiri and Tane are all connected. Apparently Tangaroa created fish and reptiles, and dislikes Tane because half of his children went to live with him on land (or something like that). And Tawhiri dislikes both Tane and Tangaro for splitting up their parents Rangi and Papa, hence his angry winds.
Pele, goddess for fire, volcanoes etc. I like to think of her as the Hawaii side of the mythology, and how could I not represent Hawaii in some way?
And of course Rangi and Papa, the creators. Apparently their were in a tight embrace and were separated by Tane and some of their other children, this creating the heavens/sky and earth. So in a sense Papa is mother earth.

Another one I am considering is Ta'aroa, who is from Tahitian mythology. Apparently there was chaos, and he created the heavens and earth from a cosmic egg. Sounds funny, I know, but it would be really cool to depict that! :)

So those are the ideas I'm running with at the moment. I start my first print this week!!!! AHHH!!! April 15 is when Senior Show opens, and I have myself scheduled to be done the first week in April. Wish me luck!

Lead, Kindly Light

Oh what a semester is has been so far! I thought it would be good to have a little bit of an update of fun and cool happenings!

Things that have happened since Spring Semester:
- Got to spend time with Julie who came to visit from WA
- Went to D.C. for two days to go to Ricky and Katie's Wedding!!
- Went to a concert here at school
- Spend lots of time with Saskia and on the phone with Kimberly
- Lot's of school... and art. Art is life.
- it snowed. a LOT a few weeks in a row.
- Went to Raleigh to visit Jeremy for a weekend :)
- Went to the Valentine's Dance with Lyzzie and Bekah. Most of the people there didn't have dates haha!

Here we are in D.C. stuck in traffic. Yeah... I swear I was not driving AND taking pictures!


The happy Couple! YAY!!!! :D

Lots of snow! I was waiting outside for Saskia. It was kind of cold...
Valentine's Dance! Man I am SHORT even in heels :) My face is kinda dorky.


But on to serious life:
Life since my last update has been very interesting. Extremely taxing and challenging. And here I thought that last week was difficult (which it was in its own way). This week it got to the point where it wasn't even school stress bothering me, but life in general(most everything). The feelings of complete helplessness and feeling lost was overpowering this week. Then, at one point, I felt like my support system was failing in one of the biggest areas--- my family.
When you feel like your family isn't supporting you, then where do you go? If your friends just aren't enough, what do you do? When all else seems to fail where do you turn? To Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, of course!
I feel like a trend has happened for the last 2-3 weeks. The week will start pretty good, and eventually it will escalate (or get worse) and by the end of the week things hit the highest peak and when I feel like everything is falling around me and I can't even stand anymore and want to fall apart, the Lord picks me up. Obviously there are some wonderful gospel principles in there. Ex: The Lord will not give us more than we can handle.
This week I hit my peak on Thursday, which was spurred by a conversation/argument with Mom. Thursday was a very horrible day for me. It's like the water works were on and didn't want to turn off. Friday I find out that I get to teach Relief Society. At that point I just couldn't fathom teaching in the emotional, physical and maybe spiritual condition I was in.
I prepared a lesson on Acquiring Spiritual Guidance and Personal Revelation (a mix of two conference talks be Elder Scott and Elder Nelson). Sunday I woke up feeling OK about my lesson, but still feeling blah from the last few days. In Sacrament meeting I wanted to cry all through the meeting because the talks were wonderful (and just what I needed) and I could feel the spirit, but part of me was pleading that I could keep it together enough to teach my lesson. In the opening exercises for R.S. our opening hymn was 'Lead, Kindly Light.' I feel that that song was a tender mercy for me. It made me want to bawl my eyes out because it embodied exactly how I was feeling. But I couldn't cry before my lesson! I pleaded for help and calm, and I pleaded that the lesson would be taken into His hands because I felt so lost and I wanted those girls to learn something and be able to feel the spirit. I couldn't do it alone.
I know that the only reason why I got through this week is because of the Lord, and because of my friends (and family). The lesson went really well. I was completely under control during the whole lesson, and I think that it flowed better than I thought it would. I'm grateful for people who comment in class, and I'm grateful that Heavenly Father answered my prayer in regards to taking over the class.
Teaching that lesson was also a tender mercy. I really needed to rely on the Lord and I know that my trials will pass and that they are for my good. I do have big decisions to make, and I finally feel that I have the ability and the resources to make them. Although some things are still unsure, I need to just have Faith and keep praying and I will receive the answer when I need to.
And now after my really long post, here is some current artwork that I have experimented with for senior art show. I finally have a concept, and I'm going to start working on it this week. EEEE! Wish me luck...

What a week!

I have to say that last week was one of the most challenging weeks I have ever had. In Institute this week my teacher talked about being put in 'the press' and how school and life and teachers etc. can press us. I felt VERY pressed. Pressed to the point of tears, more than once.
Last week I decided that taking 18 credits was insane and I was going to withdraw from one of my classes and take it in May. There were a few bumps getting to the point where I could actually go and do it, which caused a lot of distress. Plus my Professor for Sr Art show decided that she wanted us to have our exhibition outline with sketches and plans and examples ready by Tuesday (today). Of course add a ton of reading and other art projects and assignments mixed in with stress and some emotions and you get Alanna freaking out to the point of feeling depressed.

Of course I got through it! It was difficult, but I did. With help. Over the weekend I was still feeling emotionally worn out, tired and depressed. I went to visit my brother who has been going through a very difficult emotional time. So mix the two of us together for the weekend and you have me going a bit crazy.
While I was there trying to support my brother, I was reading my scriptures and felt that I needed to ask myself some questions. First, I asked myself "what is making me feel this way, and is it a rational feeling?" I noticed that some of my feelings were irrational and I knew that I needed to be patient and to think positively, so that helped me to identify the things that were bothering me. Second, I asked myself "What can I learn from these trials?" Some things I came up with were faith, patience, endurance, and relying on the Lord.
Last I asked myself "Have I talked to the Lord about this and asked for comfort?" another question to go with that is "How much have you relied on the Lord?" I realized that although I pray regularly I was not having the faith that I needed, and I wasn't asking for what I really needed. I needed to ask Heavenly Father for his comfort and help. And I did. The peace that came to my mind and heart were indescribable. I was able to think clearly and I was given the peace that I needed. In James 1:3 is says that the trying of our faith worketh patience, and I know that part of life is being patient for the Lord's time and being patient in general. But it also means that sometimes our faith needs to be tried, by going through the press.

I am so grateful for prayer! I know the God loves all of His children and He wants us to be happy! If we communicate with Him, then he is better able to bless us. If we ask for comfort, he shall give it.

Although last week was a nightmare, I know that I can learn a lot of things from it that can and will bless my life. How grateful I am for that knowledge! Now I just need to keep reminding myself :) and keep relying on the Lord! It's always easier to see the blessing from a trial when you're past it, rather than when you're in it. That's why we must Endure to the End! We sure have a lot to endure in this life, but the eternal rewards make up for it ten fold.

I have a lot of decisions to make in my life, and I know that some of those cannot be answered at this time. I have a lot to do and stress and feeling sad do NOT help with the creative process. I am happy, I am blessed and I am SO GRATEFUL for my friends and family who are there for me and support me through everything! You really are wonderful :)