It's so true. Trials are always for our benefit. Of course sometimes it's hard to remember that when there is so much pressure and stress!
Obviously I haven't had time to update anything. The week before Senior show my average bed time was 5am, and the week of Senior Show my average bedtime was 7 am, although I think at least 2 of those nights I only got 2 hours of sleep. Needless to say, my body hated me. A lot.
Looking back, I can honestly say that my senior art show is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life. It taxed me in so many ways: spiritually, mentally, artfully, academically and especially physically.
The day of senior show I had only slept for an hour, and all the pressure that I had been feeling clustered together and I broke down twice. Now, those who know me know that it takes a lot for me to break down. This is the first semester it has EVER happened. I've never had so much stress and pressure (and emotions) before. In February alone I had 3 break downs in a week!!! I like to be in control of my negative emotions, so losing it was not a happy feeling.
Although the journey has been extremely difficult, I can say without a doubt that the Lord has been with me all the way. Before I started this semester Dad gave me a blessing, and from it I knew that I would be making a lot of difficult decisions, and I knew that I was going to have a difficult time, but as long as I remembered and kept faith, I would be OK.
I know that the only reason why I got through senior show was because I was promised in a blessing that I would accomplish all that I needed to do. There were miracles the day of senior show. Some of them came through the friends that helped me. I would not have had a display if my friends didn't help me, and my 5th piece would not have been assembled if it weren't for my friends. Heavenly Father is watching out for me.
Yet there was a time at the beginning of April when I knew my faith was wavering. I still hadn't figured out anything to do with moving, my senior show seemed like it would NEVER get done, and I was losing hope. When I felt that hope and faith slipping I just didn't know what to do. There was a moment when I just went for a drive and I sat there and just cried and I told the Lord that I didn't have faith, and that I needed help to have hope and faith again.
It made me think about the man in the New Testament who was asked by the Lord if he had faith that his child would be healed, and he said "help thou my unbelief" and the Lord healed the child. From that story I realized that I at least had faith that the Lord would answer my prayer, and I knew that that was enough. Of course the prayer was answered and I had my friends and professors' help, and I accomplished all that I needed for senior show. But he also blesed me with inspiration on who to ask about housing and to be able to look for jobs that are relevant to my major.
I have just been so blessed this semester. It reminds me of the footprints in the sand poem. It's true that when you're going through difficult times and you just wonder "how did I ever do that?" it's because the Lord was there carrying you through it. I am so grateful for the gospel in my life, and I am so grateful for my friends and family, and for church organization! :)
